Emma Fitzgerald reports:
On 19th October, I completed the Centurion Autumn 100-mile ultra marathon. But that’s not what I really want to write about. I want to share more valuable things I learned in the process of training and being coached. It is a vulnerable and honest account (and it’s a bit different to what you usually find on here) but I hope you find it helpful.
1. Look after your mental health. We all have things in our past and minds that trouble us. Running is a way for a lot of runners to self-soothe and escape things that trouble them. Through my recent coaching, I learned that running can be used as a false therapy. I would encourage anyone reading this to think deeply about the things or the behaviours that trouble you, and seek proper help. Don’t just go for a run and forget about it. Talk to a friend, coach, GP, or therapist. Talk to me if you like. I am not a professional, and I won’t make you feel better, but I’m a good listener.
2. The need for validation. Ask yourself – would I do this if no one was watching? If the answer is yes, then what you are doing is a deeply intrinsic goal, and you are not doing it for notoriety, Facebook, or Strava. I am still not sure the answer is “yes” for my most recent race. It’s something I am continuing to think about. Your self-worth shouldn’t be tied to external opinions, kudos, and PBs. You should be doing the things you like for YOU and no one else. Otherwise, who are you living your life for? Why do you need to post and tell the world about your run? Think deeply on this. You may well have some good and honourable reasons that aren’t connected to seeking external validation. I reflect on this every day and I’m still not sure, but I am working hard on it.
3. Life is about choices. I now know I can choose whether or not to believe my thoughts. Your own worst enemy is the brain between your own two ears. Choosing not to believe your unhelpful thoughts can be the stark difference between growth and surrender.
4. Caring what people think. This is another thing I am working on. I now understand that I can’t control what people think and I have to accept not everyone will like me or believe in me. People will make assumptions about me. That’s just life. I also know that if I am doing something that’s truly meaningful to me, I tend to care less about what people think or assume about me. The comments that people make about you are actually a reflection of how they feel about themselves, not you. It’s really interesting when you truly listen to what people say. A simple comment can tell you quite a lot about a person. At the end of the day, what other people think of you does not matter nearly as much as what you think of yourself.
5. “I could never do that.” This is a classic example of a simple thought that has a very damaging effect. The truth is, you could do it if you chose to and you wanted to. You are simply just choosing to believe the latter. There are many other thoughts that are very damaging: “I’m not like them,” “I’m not fast enough,” “I’m fat,” “I’m not skinny enough,” “I’m sh*t at that.” If we all stopped choosing to believe these thoughts and self-limiting beliefs, we might all feel a little better about ourselves. The first step is noticing the thoughts, and to stop talking badly about yourself. You wouldn’t talk like that about a friend.
6. You win some and you learn some. Growth mindset can sometimes come across as cheesy and cliché, but it is a valuable practice. Think about perceived setbacks and ask what they are telling you. Use them as information. There isn’t really failure, there is just learning. Life is just one big learning curve.
I don’t have the puzzle of life solved by any means. And I will always need to continue working on my mindset. But I now have some really great tools to help me cope better with what life and running throws at me.
“If anyone says or comes across like they have everything figured out, that’s generally a good sign to run in the other direction”
